Everything I Need To Know I Learned from Pretty Woman

While brainstorming ideas for business/motivational articles, I came up with this: Everything I Need To Know I Learned from Pretty Woman. Including, but not limited to:

  • You can do anything to want to–if you ain’t lost.
  • Don’t mock ignorance. Show people what the forks are for. And there’s no reason to be a dick about it.
  • Be mindful of the power of your words. “People put you down enough. You start to believe it … the bad stuff is easier to believe.”
  • Use the power of your words. Friends tell the truth. “Back off. You’re really becoming a grouch.”
  • Tell others: “You got a lotta potential, Kit De Luca.”
  • Tell yourself: “I say who. I say when. I say how much.”
  • Being mean should always have consequences.
  • Set boundaries: “This ain’t a buffet.”
  • Lights are good when it’s dark out.
  • Sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know and need others to tell us. Nobody knows you’re hurt if you don’t tell them. “I never treated you like a prostitute.” “You just did.”
  • Ask others and yourself: “What’s your dream?”
  • Always insist: “I want the fairy tale.”
  • Sometimes we don’t realize the consequences of our actions. Sometimes you need to point out cause and effect. “I told you not to pick up the phone.” “Then stop calling me.”
  • Contentment covers a multitude of sleaze. “Get outta where? Where the fuck you wanna go?”
  • Have carpet picnics. Veg out and watch old movies. Don’t wait until tomorrow to do broccoli.
  • Walk barefoot in the park.
  • Buy a new tie.
  • Be a safety girl. Offer a buffet of safety.
  • Sometimes, the only way to get people off your coat is to let them drive your Lotus.
  • Sincerity and timing cover a multitude of sins: “You’re late.” “You’re stunning.” “You’re forgiven.”
  • Showing gratitude and appreciation pays dividends and goes both ways. Don’t let it go unspoken. “I would have stayed for two thousand.” “I would have paid four.”
  • Rescue people right back.
  • If you think someone has a lot of special gifts, tell them.
  • Stop fidgeting.
  • The difference between a job and a vocation is the difference between appreciating and loving opera. “People’s reactions to opera the first time they see it is very dramatic; they either love it or they hate it. If they love it, they will always love it. If they don’t, they may learn to appreciate it, but it will never become part of their soul.”
  • You shouldn’t have to ask someone’s size if it’s your job to know.
  • Always foresee that your wife and your girlfriend will go shopping together.
  • Small talk and other BS are as frustrating as they are pointless. “I appreciate this whole seduction thing you’ve got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing.”
  • Most people shock the hell out of me.
  • Treat people so nice, they never wanna let you go.
  • Always be prepared to let people go.
  • Treat your customers like friends. Go out of your way and make exceptions to policy.
  • Even if you don’t drink, serve your guests champagne.
  • You shouldn’t neglect your gums.
  • Don’t watch people floss.
  • Don’t kiss on the mouth until you get the fairy tale.
  • Let yourself just love Prince more than life itself.
  • Play. Even if you only play for strangers.
  • The possibility that something can always go wrong is what should make you enjoy any given thing so much.
  • Natural is always better. Be and look yourself.
  • Take the liberty of ordering everything.
  • Just go with it. Even when people are all like “And don’t open that” just say, “Oh, no, ma’am.” It’s their problem, not yours.
  • Forgetting where you are isn’t the worst occupational hazard. Forgetting why your there is.
  • When people make inappropriate conversation, sometimes all you can do is out-do them: “I’m not trying to land him, I’m just using him for sex.”
  • Some dreams come true, some don’t; but keep on dreamin’ … Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin’.
  • Impossible relationships lead to fairy tales.
  • Therapeutically wrapping yourself in a loved one is a bargain.
  • Always hire a professional. You don’t need any hassles.
  • Mention you’re having a good time early–you might forget later.
  • Take care of you.
  • Everything is temporary so be grateful and content always: “But I’m here now.”
  • Stand firm even if they say, “You make $100 an hour and you have a safety pin holding your boot up?”
  • Don’t settle. Getting off the street is just geography.
  • Let them you’re only doing it because they’re paying you. You need to hear that even more than they do.
  • Recognize that you are similar creatures.
  • When a grown up professional asks your name, be a grown up and professional — don’t ask, “What do you want it to be?”
  • Never get escargot still in the shells.
  • People don’t need recaps.
  • It’s easy to clean up when you get money. Dress a little more appropriately even if it’s costly.
  • If someone you know can’t afford it, call in a favor from your friend in Women’s Clothing.
  • If you shouldn’t get emotionally involved in your business, change your business.
  • It’s okay if the pretty, important people don’t notice Bernie. It’s okay if only those who need something notice Bernie. Everyone benefits from Bernie being nice and cool. We don’t need pretty or important people but we need nice and cool people.
  • When you’re “rich enough” mentor someone else.
  • Admit you are very angry with your father. Admit how it affects you.
  • If your mom locked you in the attic when you were bad and you were bad pretty often, you still deserve the fairy tale.
  • Build something.
  • Build it together.
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About jotascript

Aiming to please. Seeking to impress.
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